It’s been 2 weeks since Smitty returned to Florida and started a new chapter in his life. Since then, I’ve lost no time in returning to the search for the perfect horse, and sat on 7 different prospects of all different descriptions. Each one I have compared and contrasted to my experiences with the horses of my recent past- Smitty, Riley, Darcy, and of course, Foster. ❤

When I purchased Smitty, I knew I was taking a risk. The obvious being that I didn’t know actually how he would ride, though I a few things I was quite certain about. The spur marks on his sides indicated that he was a kick ride (though we quickly got that sorted out!) and that he had been ramped up into work pretty quickly- in other words, the horse in the video wasn’t the product of a year’s worth of regular training, but more like some months. Because of the draw reins in the sales video, I knew that there may be some re-training to contact and reaching for the bit (also something we fixed). But overall, I saw a great prospect, at a great price, and knew that despite the risks, he was worth snapping up.

I don’t regret buying Smitty, though it wasn’t a good fit in the long term. He tested my abilities in ways that other horses hadn’t, and allowed me to prove to myself that some of my doubts, at least, were unfounded. For instance, when he first came to North Carolina, Smitty did not cross-tie well. Standing is hard for babies, and especially tall lanky babies who can reach everything and are enormously smart. I had someone comment to me that I should just tack him up in a stall, and not press the issue. But I believe that cross-tying is a basic skill that could and should be expected of any sport horse, and so I let him dance, and told him off when I needed him to stand still for tack and getting his feet picked up. Eventually he learned to stand, and for the most part, learned to be patient and [mostly] quiet while I went about my business in the barn.

Smitty taught me that there is still an ounce of bravery in me, even though it needs a good pep-talk to come out these days. The day we went cross country schooling will always be a favorite memory with him, as well as the undoubtedly hilarious attempt at the Green as Grass showjumping course at CHP. Those are thoughts that will always make me smile to remember.

But Smitty also taught me what I’m not willing to live with, or rather, where I need to draw the line. I need to draw the line where goals just aren’t financially responsible, or even possible. I need to draw the line at a point where I acknowledge that I need professional help, and understand that help may be getting saddle time instead of me, despite my wants and wishes. And he taught me to draw the line at a point where it made more sense to find him a better fit, someone who can provide the guidance and assertiveness that I, as a non-professional, could not dedicate to him just now.

There are plenty of silver linings in the mix, however. Thanks to Smitty I found a wonderful barn with a community of ladies that I appreciate more with every visit. I learned things through watching the training rides that I wouldn’t have otherwise learned from the saddle. I now understand the expectations of how to start a young horse in dressage with the aims of competing at the upper levels. I enjoyed seeing him progress and learn how to be a better equine citizen during his time with me. And I’m proud of where he ended up, even if it isn’t with me.

I have been keeping a secret from you, and I apologize. And that secret is that despite all my best intentions, Smitty and I were not working out.

I moved him to a quieter barn just a couple days after Christmas, hoping that the change would be what we needed to further our partnership. And on the ground, things were better. But I had learned a bit of a distrust in him after he developed a spookiness that I now realize are a symptom of his ulcerated stomach. I involved professional help, teaching me how to best work with him from a groundwork perspective as well as training him under saddle. But about a month ago, I suspected that I might not be truly confident enough to get in the saddle myself. Full training was of course an option, and one that probably would be a great solution, but not one I am financially capable of pursuing at this time.

So I made the decision to send his information to respected professionals both local and up and down the east coast. And not even two weeks later, I had someone interested to buy him. A well respected professional eventer with an outstanding young horse program. We chatted at length, and she was fully empathetic to my situation as an amateur finding myself between a rock and a hard place. A PPE was done, and this morning, just like that, Smitty loaded on a trailer bound for a new home.

My reasons for keeping the situation quiet are manifold, but mostly, because I wanted some privacy while I determined the best scenario for both Smitty and myself, without the pain of answering questions or having to explain myself. Not even my father, or the other boarders at our barn were aware that I decided to sell Smitty, though now of course the news is out and his stall is empty.

I am definitely sad about it, and for sure self-medicated with much vino to dry my tears last night. But I feel confident that Smitty will benefit from the tutelage he will receive, and become the amateur-friendly mount that I know is in there. And for myself, I hope to find the horse that is right for me, to go have fun on and get back in the saddle. Here’s hoping he finds me sooner rather than later.

I have now owned Smitty for over 6 months, and considering how baby he is, we still have a few accomplishments we can tack on a list.

We stand in the cross ties quietly (a very recent addition to the list)

trying to get a conformation photo, and failing

He can pick up all 4 feet for you, and be a solid citizen for the farrier

Smitty learned to walk across a bridge

And go through water

And lunge (mostly) off of voice commands

though sometimes going forward takes encouragement

And we went to our first show and didn’t die

What a roller coaster of a 6 months it has been!!

With horses, just like humans, it seems the first year of a relationship is critical to determining whether it will endure in the long term.

You go through this exciting honeymoon phase and often, discovering quirks and idiosyncrasies is charming and helps to create a sense of connection. Maybe it’s playing with the crossties (which I’m a sucker for), or finding out that your new pony just loves his ears to be rubbed. It’s all sweet, and endearing, and you just can’t help but get googly eyes when you set eyes on them. For Smitty and I, the highlight of our honeymoon period was our cross country school, in which I basically decided he was the best baby, ever.

And then you hit that phase where you know each other a little better, and have a tiny foundation on which you can build trust and start to grow. Sometimes this is an extension of the initial honeymoon phase, and all continues to be bright and beautiful as you take on new challenges and add shared accomplishments to your relationship history. Or maybe this is where you start to test each other’s boundaries, introducing your first fight into the mix. For us, this was the show in October. Success in so many ways, and yet, a few moments where the rose colored glasses became just a tish foggy.

Shortly after that, I sent him off the bootcamp, which in hindsight I wish I hadn’t done because I believe it lead, in part, to his unhappy stomach shortly thereafter. Here we enter another phase in our relationship, which is the general ups and downs of trying to figure out each other’s limits, make progress, and see if we will be a team in the long run.

Ulcers. UGH.

I’ve always heard it takes a full year to really form a partnership with a new horse, and is history is any indication, I believe that’s true. Smitty and I are next yet halfway to that marker yet, and we have so much to work through if we are going to be a permanent fixture. Yet I think in a lot of ways that just how horse, and human, relationships are. It’s a non-linear progression towards a forever shifting end goal.

Green as Grass doesn’t produce the most exciting photos of all time, but still- huzzah for show photos!

My position is basically heinous in this one- but he looks so cute I couldn’t help but include it!

Have a great weekend y’all!