Christmas time is traditionally an expensive time of year. Besides buying presents for the family, the in-laws, friends, etc, and attempting to avoid all the amazing sales with things you just really really want need, money goes faster than it comes.

And you know what else is expensive? Vet bills.

I’m already busy treating Smitty’s ulcer (shout out to Hillary for the excellent tips for gastrogard savings!) which, you, know, generally cost around $30 a day (until I get my international alternative- more on that later), for a 30 days… Cha ching.

So of course the dog chooses this particular time to start getting nose bleeds. And I don’t mean a sprinkling of blood occasionally. I mean human-like, dripping nose bleeds on almost a daily basis. After realizing this wasn’t just him repeatedly bumping his dry nose on the glass (trying to, and successfully convincing anyone and everyone to stay away from his castle), but that it was something else entirely, we took him to the vet.

The verdict? Likely Pemphigus Erythematosus (which sounds more like a dino than a disease to me). It’s an autoimmune disease common to GSD’s and causes lesions and ulcers on the face- and is probably responsible for Drake’s tender, dry, cracked nose that we’ve never been able to solve. We ran bloodwork just in case it was a clotting disorder (it’s not), promised them our first born child, and left with our little packet of antibiotics and steroids.

Luckily the steroids seem to be doing their job, since beside having to now pee every 4 hours, Drake’s nose is on the mend and we’re down to only 2 nosebleeds in 11 days. Thank goodness- because our freshly steamcleaned carpet is starting to look like a murder scene.

On its way to healing

But let’s not forget the other creatures of the house- they too must add to the melee. Jackson, the cat, has decided nothing looks more appetizing than pine needles, and to hell with it if they’re plastic. So running after the gagging cat has been another holiday treat.

And then Smitty decided to spice things up by attempting to impale himself.

That’s right- just what we wanted to deal with.

Awesome sauce.

Lucky for me I am blessed with a stellar barn manager and a great friend who cleaned him up for me when I couldn’t get to the barn due to work commitments. They also were inventive enough to jimmy-rig his blanket so that it didn’t rub the wound and yet still kept him warm and covered. A text the next morning confirmed that the cut was already looking better and that it really was just a flesh wound.

After finally seeing him Friday I could also see that it really wasn’t much to worry about, except for the vanity of an unsightly scratch at the moment.

So thankfully (other than the barfing cat, which I guess will end once the trees are put up) the animals seem to be on the mend. But shit you guys, could we stop the self-destructing nonsense? Please and thank you.