In just under a week, I will undertake the ~9 hour journey to that place that many eventers considered hallowed grounds- the Kentucky Horse Park.

Knowing the adventure that is just days away, I completely admit that my heart is in my throat, and I find myself constantly swaying between emotional eating (hello, breakroom wheat thins) or retail therapy. Since the latter is more fun and has less consequences for the white breeches I’ll be sporting soon, let’s break down the many purchases I have made of late.

Since conditioning has been the name of the game for a certain large yellow horse with respiratory concerns, Flair nose strips were one of my first purchases. Not only are they actually a lot easier than I imagined to apply, I also don’t have to employ the stealth needed one very desperate night my husband’s snores became too much (sorry honey, I have no idea how that nose strip got there!). The brown is actually rather light and so while I hardly notice it there, I do notice a big difference in Jack’s breathing!

// just breathe //

Similarly in the interest of helping Jack recover, and because so many people recommended it, I also have stocked up on Horse Quencher, or what in my head I have been calling Pony Kool-Aid. I can’t wait to try it out and see if their claim of ‘you bring the horse, we’ll make it drink’ is the real deal.

Of course while working hard, it’s important we look good- so the #BarbieDreamHorse got to complete his set of Kavalcade Wool Open Fronts– because these things are gorgeous and I’m only slightly obsessed with imagining how nice that fluff must feel on his legs.

And since we’re talking Kavalcade and making Jack look #superfly, my pre-AECs shopping also included this beautiful bonnet in our eventing colors. Even if you’re not a color-obsessed eventer, it’s hard to go wrong with navy and burgundy.

Then there’s the retail therapy just for me, and let’s be honest, I am not a tall, beautiful blond with legs for days (that would be the horse) and therefore I need a lot more help. So to control the curves, I invested in some equestrian spanx FITS Wunder Breech Underwear, because white breeches are not my go-to wardrobe choice… ever.

my hero. no shame

While I was appeasing my vanity I also picked up some new no-knot hairnets, since those things are the bomb and my current hair net says more ‘lunch lady past her prime’ than ‘born to shine on the centerline’. And you know, casually decided to take advantage of an awesome sale RW was having and picked up a pair of dark brown Mountain Horse Sovereign boots to match my brunette hairnet. Just kidding- I have been coveting those beauties forever and they are just as gorgeous in person.

Now feeling totally wild and reckless, I rounded out my order with a bag of Jack’s favorite Low-sugar Horse treat in Apple flavor to seal the deal (and hopefully win me brownie points with my mount- can’t hurt can it?).

There, now you can see the evidence of my retail therapy plunder, which I regret not one bit. While it may have caused some angst with the afore-mentioned husband (also wondering where all those boxes on the front step are coming from), it’s worth it in the end. Because once I get to Kentucky, I’ll know that I will do my best, or at worst, look good trying.