Thank you for all of your comments and well wishes yesterday, they were very appreciated. The paperwork went through, and just like that, I am no longer Fosterpants’ primary caregiver. Luckily his new mom is absolutely wonderful and wants me to have as much access to him as I want, and I’ll probably be hopping on him once a week or so for the next little while. More details and an attempt to sum up the journey coming.
In the meantime, let me regale you with my horsey ISO ad, since I’m officially in horse hunting territory.
“Adult amateur seeks fancypants unicorn in ultimate champagne on a beer budget scenario. Prefer gelding, at least 15.3 hands tall and between the ages of 3 and 9. Must have great brain, preferably canine-like personality and cuddly tendencies. A forgiving nature, for those amateur moments, is an absolute requirement. Need not be able to memorize showjumping tracks, but being able to count jumps would be helpful to this occasionally ditzy eventing DQ.
Suspension and athleticism important. And by suspension, I mean that of a Porsche or Audi, not a Model T. Prospective owner seeks to be competitive in the dressage court and in the eventing irons, that is, if she can remember her courses. Proven jumping ability preferred, but willing to
survive train a green but willing jumper as well.
Horse will receive almost daily attention from prospective owner, be taught ridiculous tricks like smiling and bowing, and in general be spoiled rotten. As such, the horse must in turn tolerate copious amounts of picture taking, both as the subject of his new owner’s photography experiments, but also on a routine basis for the purpose of bombarding the blogosphere and social media channels with their presence.
Besides being sound of mind, horse must be sound of body. While this amateur owner has become efficient at wrapping, icing, hand walking, and bonding with vets, she would like to turn her attention to other hobbies. Like riding. Lemons need not apply, and you better believe there will be a pre-purchase exam.
In return for meeting these lengthy and lofty requirements, any future horse will be held on a pedestal above all others, if not in the judges’ eyes than in his owner’s. He will receive the best of care at a top-notch facility, have his legs and feeding regimen obsessed over at length, and be stuffed full of cookies at every horse show. Oh, let’s be serious- he’ll be stuffed full of cookies every day. And with all hope, he will be a lifelong partner.”