First of all, let me just say that watching multiple episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale does nothing positive for the mood.
I make dumb mistakes. Mistakes I will regret for the rest of my life. The biggest one that comes to mind is my last cross country run on Foster. I was having the time of my life, flying (for Foster at least) across the country, when I was pulled up 4 fences from home- I had missed an insignificant fence on the course. The fact that I never got to feel that sense of completion on what was to be his last run makes me sad.
I’m worried that I will make this investment- time, money, emotion, and I will do something classically dumb to mess it all up.
I’m very good at that, after all. Remember when I forgot where to go and jumped a BN fence from a standstill? Here’s the video to jog your memory.
I hope I don’t disappoint myself. Disappoint all the people supporting me. The people that plan on watching the live stream. My coach traveling to KY. My dressage coach here in NC. I want to make them proud.
If it comes to laughing or crying, I’ll pick laughing every time. But I am desperately hoping that this will not be that time!
But first, we gotta get there.